


Thanks to You

by Larkawolfgirl



Series: Poetry [4]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Character Study, M/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 12:41:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6239788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larkawolfgirl/pseuds/Larkawolfgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When I’m alone I am calm<br/>Without you things make sense<br/>Except they don’t</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thanks to You

You are infuriating, you are clingy, you are dimwitted

You light a fuse inside me that never quite dies

I want to strangle you, to snuff your annoyance out of existence so I don’t have to deal with it, or the thoughts,

the conflict

the confusion

I want to smother you until your voice is a straining cry, a trembling moan

Until tears are flowing down your face

I want to lap at them, at your skin, to taste the salt on your skin

I want to eat you, to make us one again, to feel the beating of your heart

the heart that is mine, the heart that’s been stolen from me

I want it back

I want you back

I want my humanity back

I want to be sane

I want to envelop you

I want peace

          I want resolution

When I’m alone I am calm

          Without you things make sense

                     Except they don’t

                     When I’m alone I’m incomplete—I’m devoid of life—

                     Devoid of color, or depth

                               I want to hold you close

                               To stroke lines down your sides, to breath in your scent

                               To make note of each tiny detail, that separates you and me

You are a joy, the light of my life

          The only light

You are infuriating, the bane of my existence

          Yet I want to hold you close and never let you go

I threaten to leave, watch the tremble of your lip

watch the trouble there, the agony

watch you frantically think of how to make me stay,

of what to say, of what to do,

wonder what it is you did wrong

          Nothing

                     You’ve done nothing wrong,

                     and that’s the problem

                     You are good, you are just, you are _light_

And I’m dark

                     We don’t mix

                               Yet, we do

                               Fit like two sides of a whole— _because that’s exactly what we are_ —

                               We fit together, and it’s too much to acknowledge

                               Too much to take responsibility for

I want to devourer you, because it would be easier

          I would be whole, you would be whole

          We could be one, and I wouldn’t have to think

          Wouldn’t have to think about this—about us—what this means

I wouldn’t have to think about the person I am, or the person I wish I could be

There would be nothing, except you and me, and you&me

But I don’t

I live out this life, with its ups and downs, and confusion and chaos

I live out this life, with you, but not one with you

And somehow we find a rhythm—I find a rhythm

We live out our days, and I deal

I still snap sometimes, deep in the night, in the early morning,

I snap, and I yell, and I hurt,

But I also laugh—sometimes—at the strangest of times—and there is a peace

A light one but it is there, in the faintest of moments, when you give me that look you know I can’t stand because it makes me feel human, makes me feel like I do have a soul

I want so many things that I don’t do—can’t have—

          But somehow this longing has found its way into my life

          has wrapped itself around me like a vice, has become a second skin

          I like it, and its whispers

          I like knowing that I can feel this longing and not give in

                     Not give in to my desires as I used to

                     I’m not as weak anymore

And it’s thanks to you

All thanks to you   


End file.
